HELLO EVERYONE
It's me, Kev, or Gator to some. I'm back! And better than ever. I took a break from writing these because frankly, I was really fuckin depressed and all yall would have worried for my health and safety if I wrote down all my terrible sad thoughts. Good news is I'm feeling much better now! And I have much more interesting things to write about, There's HELLA updates with the band, I'm doing better (and getting more comfortable) at work, and I'm meeting new people! Before all that though I'd like to address some important changes first. Mainly the names I go by! It is strictly Kev or Gator now, a whole 3 people are allowed to say my technical legal name so just assume you aren't one of them (you guys know who you are). Secondly, I no longer use just he/him pronouns. I use all of them, call me what you want just don't call me late to the SWAMP FOR ANIMAL CARCASS FEASTING!!!!!!! You can consider Kevin dead. I killed that stupid motherfuck and everything he represented. Dead as hell. Kev, or Gator.
You're probably wondering what the whole animal carcass thing is about, I've decided to meet my intrusive thoughts in the middle. As a part of being my true whole self I'm embracing all the weird stuff I think about sometimes. My brain operates like a pachinko machine, I've always said that. I've been focusing so long on getting the balls in the holes, I forgot about all the points I could make along the way! Okay that analogy got away from me a little, but the point is I'm weird as fuck and I'm not hiding that side of me anymore. NOW I OUTWARDLY ADVOCATE FOR MAILING PIPE BOMBS TO SENATORS AND KILLING YOUR LOCAL OIL EXECUTIVE. HANG HIS CARCASS HIGH ON THE WATER TOWER FOR ALL TO SEE AS A WARNING. WE WILL NOT TOLERATE ENVIRONMENTAL ABUSE ANY LONGER. FIGHT BACK. RIP OUT THEIR SPLEENS AND COOK THEM ON ROCKS, ROAST THEIR HEARTS ON A STICK, GRIND THEIR BONES INTO DUST AND MAIL THEM IN LITTLE ENVELOPES TO THEIR WIVES LABELED COCAINE FOR YOU TO OVERDOSE ON.
Anyways, I'm getting really into ska now. Like Really into, some of the classic shit, and some of the newer shit like two tone ska and ska-pop-punk. My current fave band is Obviously JER, but I'm exploring bands like Catbite and Kill Lincoln. I also ideally will start to branch into more as far as more modern music genres go. The plan is to surround myself with people who listen to more rap, RnB, Jazz, my mom can help with the classical stuff, she loves it. Plus that's two birds with one stone as far as hanging out with my mom more. I'm also embracing the side of me that likes pop punk. Fall Out Boy dropped some singles that fucking SLAP. Speaking of music, my band recorded demos! One of them is still being mixed and neither of them are published but I'm sure it'll be soon. The ones we recorded were Queen Of the Earth and Moss and Mildew. Recording music really helps you appreciate all the work that goes into production and mixing. Music would be nothing without recording artists who do their work dealing with pissy musicians, who are perfectionists and nitpick the stupidest things. Re-recording track after track to get that mix Just Right. I felt bad every time we had to do another take because the drums were rushed or some shit. Thankfully the drums for Queen of the Earth were done in one take but I ran the song a little long to be honest. We changed it to fit and now we play it like that live. To think a simple mistake like that changed the song forever! I wonder how many parts of my favorite songs are like that. Mistakes that were kept in, additions that were never traditionally kept in till somebody said "hey what if we..." It's interesting to think about. There's also some rough plans for my band to go on tour for two weeks in June with a punk band called Euphoria. I'm excited for that!!! I've got to get a shell for my truck at the very least for that to work if not a little trailer to pull the rest of the band's shit or perhaps rent a van. I have until June to figure it out.
In the meantime work is getting better, I was going to quit soon but I may not, because I've changed my attitude towards it quite a bit. The second I step in that building and clock in, REI is my favorite company and the best company in the world and I'm perfectly happy there! I leave all my baggage about capitalism and being a wage slave and using numbers and percentages to gauge performance at the door. I'm there to sell shit and promote the company. To be fair it's not too hard to do with REI, there are a lot of issues I see there on the daily but they're trying to be more environmentally friendly, using brands owned by POC and Women, advertising that they do so to appeal to those markets as well. They donate to local charities and foundations that help marginalized folks, they try to treat their staff well but it's hard under capitalism. Using green companies, having a Zero waste goal by next year, right down to being strict about sorting the garbage, paper garbage goes here, plastic garbage goes here (we ship to a company that recycles) cardboard boxes either get reused or thrown in the mall's recycling. They do their best and I respect that. Its working. I'm more comfortable and confident, and my numbers look way better. I'm pretty good at selling memberships now to be honest, it's not hard because its a pretty good deal, I just feel bad cuz we have to sell to everybody, even people who clearly don't need or want it. They want us to go for 2 nos which just feels so pushy but, it's whatever. My bonus comes tomorrow! I decided about 2 weeks ago that I was going to take a THC break till then to sober up a little and then buy an oz. of REALLY nice weed to celebrate. I'm tired of smoking this cheap shit and I think my body could use a week or two of soberness. The weird thing is that not a lot of things changed in that time. I really thought that everyone was right about the pot affecting me but in all honesty all that changed was falling asleep becoming WAAAY more difficult, thankfully I didn't start early at work too often this week because I spent many nights up till 3 am (more on that later.) My routine after work also changed since usually I smoke a joint on the way home, instead I'd just drive straight home and eat dinner. No hotboxing in the car for 20 minutes or stupid shit like that. Just eatin dinner with my mom watchin youtube. The comedown takes longer, but it also felt cleaner. I think this will help me smoke less weed, but I'm not cutting that out entirely. I think at this point in my life is when I should be doing stupid shit like that. I've got a life to live and I'm not gonna let worrying about what people think about my habits stop me from doing so.
In other news, I've met some new people. How does one be a conscious whore? I always fear I'll end up hurting someone and that's never what I want. Especially when I meet someone who I click with. Do you ever just click with someone? like a lego piece snapping together? or like the last tetris piece falling into place? Or when your driving rod screws into your drumset without striping the screws at all? I feel bad because I literally had sex with a different person 2 days before and made a small connection (although mutual understanding that we were just foolin around was had) and then BOOM. I met Gio. Gio is special. I don't know. It all happened so fast. I met this person like 2 days ago and we stayed up all night talking. It felt nice to have a genuine connection with someone like this again. They make me feel a certain way I haven't felt in a while. I spent the night and then we spent the whole next day together and it felt like a dream! After I dropped them off back at home I was worried I was going to wake up this morning, and none of it would have been real. I don't know, it's just so easy with them. I feel like I don't have to hide things from them, I don't have to keep up any appearances and I can just be my whole self. It's nice. I'm excited to see them again. They're coming to my show on the 5th, and sometime after that we'll have our first real date hopefully. They wanna take me so many places but really I'd go anywhere with them. They could take me to the sewer and be like "this is it Kev, the finest dining I know of" and I'd be all "oh gio its beautiful" or whatever. I've met other people. Crazy people, really sweet people who I may hurt in the process of posting this, and many many people who promised to come to my show on the 5th (which may get a little awkward). I'm sorry in advance to any poor souls I hurt, and I hope there's some way to make up to you, but I've got a feeling if you made it this far you aren't toooo butthurt about it.
WHEW that's a doozy of a blog post huh? Expect these guys semi-weekly, I've been a little too busy for consistent posting but I'll try to make time for one of these guys, worst case scenario once a month. It's also a case of having something entertaining and interesting to write about. That's it for now folks, I'll see you soon. Much love and many bountiful hunts and harvests in your future!
The song of the week is Swerve City by Deftones (as picked by Gio themself)
-Gator (kev)
