Getting a job is fucking weird. Reducing my qualities to the fundamentals of what will make me look good on paper is weird. Interviewing is weird. Signing my name a billion times truly feels symbolic of signing my soul away to some corporate machine, and I don't even work for that bad of a company. Joining the workforce as someone who believes that capitalism is a scam and paper money has no value really sucks. I'm truly forced to betray a lot of what I stand for because its impossible to get by without money otherwise. Sure, the barter system would work great in theory but when I take cool shiny rocks I found to the Safeway down the street they get mad at me. So it seems I'll have to fund my rootbeer binges some other way, plus the gas pumps don't really have a receptacle for trinkets.
For the time being, I sell ham. Today I gave myself the title of Professional Ham Slinger. It helps me forget the cosmic pain of forcing myself to answer the same 7 or 8 questions that deaf old people ask me. Deaf old people, who don't wear their masks right, and don't understand that they cannot reserve hams at a first come first serve store. It's not so bad, I have nice co-workers and a pretty lax schedule, plus it's not even that busy until much closer to Christmas. Tomorrow I think I will listen to podcasts all day, as time passes quite slowly when I'm not slinging ham. I'm also gonna try and pickup some gatorade so I can make myself a slushy using the Iceboxes (a tip my boss taught me).
In other news, I think I might have ruined my mom's Christmas plans by getting a job. I work Christmas Eve and New Years, my mom has been planning a trip to Canada or... somewhere? and she was considering staying from Christmas Eve to Christmas Day. I feel sort of guilty, I know it's not entirely my fault but my sister sounded kind of bummed on the phone when I told her I worked that day. I dunno, I know it's not really my fault, and getting this job is actually a good thing, but that made me feel just a bit shitty. Although this is the same phone call wherein my sister questioned my ability to take care of myself as if I haven't been for the past, what, 2 years? I know she's worried about me, and I appreciate it, but I wish she'd do it a little less. She says mom should stop babying me, but she she herself continues to see me as a baby. I turn 18 in 2 months.
I turn 18 in 2 months....
fuck
The song of the week is Lost In Time and Space by Lord Huron
See y'all next week
-Kev
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