I'm running out of names for these already!

    Okay so I know what you're thinking. "why are you 2 days late after you said you were back" well the answer is fuck you I do what I want. JK I was planning on writing it during the day on Monday but I got called in to work so that went straight down the toilet and I was FAR too tired to write it afterwards. These take a lot of effort and energy believe it or not. I pour my heart, soul, and piss into these so you guys better read the fuck out of them. Also you're supposed to listen to the song of the week either during or afterwards so you understand the context and vibe of my week. If you aren't doing that you're like missing half the message! Anyways. This blog post is gonna get a little deeper than usual, it's gonna be a little sappy and stuff so if that's not what you're here for you can probably skip to the bottom paragraph where I run out of ideas and talk about my band or my job or something.

    Recently I sorta realized that I've been receiving signs from some sort of upper-level. I don't like subscribing to any sort of beliefs, but the Universe feels far too... corny? Overused? I dunno, it doesn't feel right to me. From this point on I will be referring to that all encompassing higher power thing as the Smart Woman Upstairs, I'm sure she appreciates a new title every once in a while right? Well anyways, the Smart Woman Upstairs has been sending me signs that I've been blatantly ignoring while pleading at the bottom of Her staircase asking for signs on what to do with my life! Meanwhile she's throwing rocks and pine cones at my face saying "Appreciate what you have!" and "There are so many people who love you!" among other messages. I have to stop ignoring her. She's right, I'm getting greedy. I forget that I have plenty and what I have is pretty cool. That damned corporate greed, the marketing instinct  of "buy more! now!" it's never enough. The more you spend the more hollow you feel, till you have to spend copious amounts of money on stuff. Stuff which, upon arrival, you will look at maybe once, and then toss into a pile of other objects that mean nothing to you. The fucking fire alarm just went off and interrupted my thought, now I have to pick up the tiny shattered pieces. The Smart Woman Upstairs wants what's best for me, I have to listen to her. I talk so much about going with the flow and yet I'm so resistant to the actual river I'm floating down. I need let myself drift instead of fighting the current. The other day I was thinking myself into an existential crisis and a thought popped into my head that stopped me in my tracks. "I'm wasting it! I'm missing the whole point. I'm so busy worrying about the end I can't enjoy the beginning or middle." That scared me quite a bit. I don't want to waste my life worrying about things that don't fucking matter. I'm done doing that. I don't give a fuck anymore.   The Smart Woman Upstairs humbled me this week. She let me know that if I don't get my shit together soon I may as well be fucked. I get it now, thank you Ma'am.

    I was thinking about looking for a new job today but, I honestly don't think I will. I need to remember that my job is actually pretty easy, and kinda fun if I work with the right people. My coworkers really like me and I like them too! It can be a little icky gross sometimes but I think as long as they train me soon I really could do a good job as a Shift lead. It's nice pay too, I actually get pretty big paychecks depending on my hours. I obviously wont stay there forever, there are so many more places I wanna work! Hopefully I can get my truck fixed and buy a shell for it soon! that'll be nice. I really want to go fishing and camping and shit. I can't wait for summer I'm gonna go on so many trips and shit bro I'm excited.

I'm maybe gonna try acid this friday? Who knows.

The song of the week is 5446 Thats My Number/ Ball And Chain by Sublime.