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Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Normalize taking money out of your savings account

     Normalize taking money out of your savings account. I'm serious. Things are hard, the state of the world is kind of shit. I'm probably gonna have to quit my job soon. My manager quit, so a lot of people will be leaving soon. I will stick it out as along as I can but if I don't like management I am fucking out of here. Our district manager is gone too, so I have no clue who's gonna be coming to take the reigns and hire a new manager. Whatever. I gotta update my resume soon. It's gonna suck but honestly I'm glad I've got an easy out. I do not want to work at a smoothie place during the summer months, thank you. For now tho, I'm gonna steal a lotta food from that place.


    I tried Acid a few days ago. It was... super weird. Nothing really happened though. In the moment I described it as "taking the long walk to nowhere." Conversations seemed so deep and layered but in reality we were talking about nothing. The person I was with ended up passing out near the end of my trip, so I got to experience it alone for a little while. That wasn't as fun, but I lived. I had fun I think; there were some scary parts, sure, but overall? Super fun. I loved the visuals and the giggly feeling. The way it brings you back to that primal curiosity of "what's this? why does it do that? what does it feel like?" you don't feel any sort of embarrassment or pressure or anything like that from the people with you. You have no shame, you feel no ego, it's what I imagine it was like to be a caveman. Anyways after the trip I felt like absolute garbage because of the sudden drop in serotonin (the stuff acid makes your brain overproduce.)  I'm fine now, but in the moment I compared how I felt to how it felt like in middle school. Saying that out loud really helps me remember how much better I am now than I was then. I'm real hard on myself to be a better person and improve myself, I have to remember that I've come pretty far. Sure it's not over but I've made so much progress, I should give myself more credit. I'm getting better, feeling better. I'm proud of myself.

    Ew okay enough sappy shit I'm real happy about the sun coming out. I think I'm gonna get a nice little retail job next. I got a ticket for running a red-light. Yes it's bullshit. Both me and my sister have been having nuke dreams. That's fun. My mom is gonna pay to fix my truck's alignment and perhaps even a shell for my truck. I want to go fishing... so bad. I want to go camping and be outdoors. I need to go camping. I need to go camping. I need to go camping. I WANT TO BE IN THE WOODS. 

I want to play minecraft now.

The song of the week is No More Roads by Oi Polloi

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