February always means hard times, this year is no different. Granted this is the best February I've had emotionally and mentally. I'm as independent as possible, I have a job, a vehicle and friends to hang out with! Things couldn't be better! Well they could. My mom and I are pretty much out of money right now. I don't have enough gas to go to work today, so I'm taking her car. This money problem, its temporary. Money is coming, lot's of it, it's just coming in two fucking weeks. Suspending a fucking pay period. Whats even the point. I was already starting the day after pay-day, but instead of 2 weeks I have to wait 4? Thanks Jamba, let me celebrate while my mom figures out how we're gonna pay the fucking water bill. FUCK you.
Speaking of Jamba... I'm getting better at working there. There's a lot of stuff they forget to tell me that I've sorta had to pick up on my own, and I make a few mistakes here or there, but I'm getting better. Because they're waiting FOUR WEEKS to give me a paycheck, it's gonna be fucking huge. I can finally carry out my plans!!!! I sound like a mad scientist finally getting a grant or funding, when in reality I will be filling my truck with water, granola bars, tampons, incense, and masks. Oh and I'm gonna take my friends to KBBQ finally. Was supposed to happen a while ago, but then they all got COVID so that went down the drain.
Band hasn't actually played in a while. We were supposed to these past 2 Sundays, but our bassist isn't the most reliable so a lot of times we gotta cancel. It's not entirely their fault and I give them a lot of grace and sympathy but we really gotta play again, and soon. I like these dudes, they have good ideas and stuff it's just I'm not sure if things are gonna work if this keeps up. Whatever, it's not a huge deal. We've got time, plenty of time.
If I really wanna go on a roadtrip this summer, I need to start saving up. I don't wanna run out of money in fuckin missouri and be stuck with my dad in Arkansas for however long it takes me to get back. I don't even wanna fucking see him again, but he wants me to visit this summer and I don't want him to make a big stink about it. I really hate his ass. The thought of being around him again it's repulsing. I don't know why I'm visitng him. My brain keeps telling me "it's the right thing to do! You don't wanna be one of those assholes who misses his dead father" but he may as well already be fucking dead to me, rotting in a fuckin river with maggots crawling out his goddamned eyes. His words, not mine. Fuckin hate that guy, fuck you Jeff.
My mom bought me a bong, her name is Mommy Bong Legs. She is lethal. She is also gorgeous. That's pretty cool. I turn 18 in 12 days. I hate when people verbalize the fact I have daddy issues. Like yeah, obviously I do, fuck off. I need to find a new therapist. I scheduled a doctors appointment for the... thing... on the side of my face that wont go away. It might go away soon. I hope it does. It's giving me headaches.
For now, just one thing at a time. See ya'll next week.
The song of the week is Dirty Harry by Gorillaz.
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